Chris Dalrymple

I struggle to buy normal cars, and instinctively go for the slightly leftfield, slightly random choice. I’ve got nothing against Ford Fiestas, Vauxhall Corsas and the like – they’re very sensible cars, and the obvious choice for cheap, reliable transport – I just couldn’t face driving one every day. I like the randomness that some cars have to offer, even if that randomness means breakdowns, cold evenings spent swearing at car parts and nervy journeys wondering whether running repairs have worked.

I realised recently that I also struggle to sell them – scrap, hand back or give away maybe, but never sell. Over 7 years of motoring (Amazingly, despite always loving cars I only passed my test at the age of 22 when I had to be able to drive to get to a job miles away) I’ve had 8 cars of which 2 I still own, 1 was scrapped, 3 were handed back, 1 set on fire and 1 was given away. It seems I’m pathologically incapable of owning a car, looking after it and selling it on. Somehow it’s just never worked out that way.

I thought, then that I’d make a (what has turned out to be fairly lengthy) record of the various fates of the various cars I’ve owned. Just in case any car geeks out there might find it interesting…

2004 Rover 25 1.4

A grandad-mobile. Not mine.

My first ever car, and despite the obvious grandad connotations, probably the most normal. A company car while I was working for MG Rover Group and resplendent with faux wood trim and slightly cheap looking plastics. Still, it was my first car and a brand new one at that so I was pretty happy. Survived a daily 120 round trip between Longbridge and West Bridgford.

2005 (I think) MG ZR 105

MG ZR 105 (not my actual one)

This was more like it! On handing back the 25 I got to chose the facelifted MG version of the same car. Even with the same 1.4l engine, uprated to product 103bhp it was nippy, sporty and generally more befitting of a 23 year old petrolhead. They were unfairly maligned by some as just a rebadged Rover with a spoiler but a fair amount of work had been done to the engine, suspension and brakes to make this a great car to drive (albeit slightly under powered). I was never sure about that Boeing-sized wing on the back, but then I got one in bright purple so it was never going to be the most inconspicuous… Handed back on the collapse of the MG Rover business.

1984 Mercedes 190E 2.0l

Mercedes 190E in one of its brief, fully working moments.

So there I was, unemployed and needing something to get me to job interviews up and down the country and with only £400 to spend on a new car. Naturally I didn’t go for the safe option. I recall a Nissan Almera within my price range which I couldn’t bring myself to buy. I went for the 20 year old Silver Mercedes auto sat in the corner of the garage gathering dust.

It had a slightly delayed gear change on the automatic box, a slightly shabby blue interior, but I absolutely loved it – like an armchair on wheels and very relaxing to drive. It even managed to cart round a couple of hundred copies of the yellow pages – a brief career change for me to suppliment the job hunting (Worst. Job. Ever).

Now, it was suprisingly fault-free for a good while, but it did see more than its fair share of problems eventually. From memory, a new alternator (which I found out on the way back from Sheffield), a new ECU (which was a nightmare to source), a replaced prop-shaft and various other smaller niggles. The conversation point however was the fact that an eventual running repair led to the fuel pump being controlled by a switch under the front of the bonnet. I had a post-it stuck to the dashboard reminding me to turn off the fuel pump when I parked up lest the car exploded, much to the amusement/panic of any passengers.

The Mercedes’ eventual fate was sealed when it broke down on me for the upteenth time, nearly getting me squashed in front of a bus in the process. I tried to sell it but found no takers, so ended up giving it away to the local Mercedes specialist – I couldn’t bare to scrap it. Checking the DVLA it looks as if she was still running in 2008 – quite a feat given it had 155k miles on the clock when we parted company.

1992 Audi 80 Quattro 2.7l V6

The Audi's MOT. It didn't pass.

My actual Audi 80 Quattro with wonky steering wheel. What a beast.

With a little more money in my pocket, but a penchant for big luxury saloon cars firmly embeded, I went for a bigger engine and 4WD in the form of an Audi 80 Quattro costing £1,000. It still had an in-car mobile phone, the steering wheel wasn’t on straight and it did terrible MPG, but it was a great car and great fun to drive. I managed a year of trouble free motoring, aside from an new altenator (what is it with me and alternators? I swear every other car I own has needed a replacement) until the MOT from hell sealed its fate.

It then sat gathering dust (and mould, and damp) until I finally got around to scrapping it a few months later. A sad end to a great car.

1975 MG Midget 1500c

Written about in more detail in a seperate post. She’s still with me (albeit currently in bits), with the aim of transporting me to my wedding in 2013.

2008 Smart ForTwo Cabio

Smart ForTwo Cabrio. The one on the right.

Not many people saw this one coming! Not the most macho of cars in the world (any car which is also driven my this man is not exactly alfa male), but great fun and cheap to run for the short commute from Meanwood to the centre of Leeds. Had it for 3 years on a contract hire agreement and handed it back at the end. Very nifty convertible roof, amazing MPG and great insurance. Not so good when I started commutig 100 miles a day on the M60…

2003 Alfa Romeo 156 Turismo 1.9l

Alfa on fire.

Could have a blog post in its own right, this one. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong, the lowlights being a snapped cambelt (always get your cambelt changed, kids), massive amounts of smoke from the exhaust which was never quite solved. Ended in a blaze of smoke and fire in the fast lane of the M60. Insurance write-off and officially the Car From Hell.

To this day Helen still shudders whenever she sees and Alfa.

2010 Nissan Juke Tekna 1.6l

Totally uncool.

And so to the latest car. Despite being deemed totally uncool by Mr J Clarkson, I like it – lots of gear for another hellish commute (cruise control, aircon, heated seats, bluetooth, satnav, reversing camera – lots of toys!), and I think it looks pretty good. Another contract hire job, so no selling on this one in a few years – another hand back!